Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
