my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I look better un-naked...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
