So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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