I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
