um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
