On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
