got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He did a backflip because drugs
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
