somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
