I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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