i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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