I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
