I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just made my gag reflex go away.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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