Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
