Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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