There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
