I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
