Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
