We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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