You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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