i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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