I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
