im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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