your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
