On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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