I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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