I love black thongs
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
