be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
