just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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