failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
