My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
