maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
