pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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