the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
