Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
