I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
