I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
