they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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