Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
