I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
operation harelip BJ is a go
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
