So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
