yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
