so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
