So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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