Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
