your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
