My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
