Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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