is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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