Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
