Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
