Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
