there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
